I started writing this post while selling a Nissan van on Facebook Marketplace.
The listing page was open in the background, keeping me company like a soap opera I couldn’t stop watching. If they still have those.
Turns out, when people spot a vehicle for sale online, their most creative instincts emerge. I’m going to let a few of them make cameo appearances here. Their comments show up. Their full identity doesn’t. Their dignity remains intact.
As I read through the responses, business principles started standing out. They point to a set of rules that is not often discussed in independent professional circles.
Rules that can give you peace of mind, sharpen your confidence, and set a clear direction for your business.
They’ll also make you lose weight. Hold on. Sorry, that last one belongs to a different set of rules. One with far more suffering and no van.
What are the Rules of Engagement?
These are pre-established standards for how you run your business. The behaviors and situations you’ll accept and the ones you won’t.
When something crosses a line, you don’t have to waste time thinking, deciding, or staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., wondering if you made the right call.
The rule’s already set. You just follow it.
And you’re not the only one who benefits. Your clients do too.
Clients appreciate a sense of solid direction in the people they work with. It tells them you’ve been down roads with pitfalls before, and you’re going to navigate around them for everyone’s benefit. They get trust and confidence. You get to sleep at night.
These aren’t posted rules like a menu board at a sandwich shop. They surface naturally in client conversations, and some get covered during your client intake process.
Here’s one of mine.
If it has to be now, the answer is no.
Outside, a cardiac surgeon is telling me it’s now or never; the answer is no. Full stop.
No deliberation needed, which is convenient because there’s no time for any.
Marketing scarcity tactics, actual scams, high-pressure decisions based on manufactured urgency. If it has to be now, the answer is no.
It’s not published anywhere. It’s just one of my rules of engagement. A guiding principle I’ve decided to follow without having to think about it each time.
Have I missed out on something by following it? Could be. Is that a big deal? No.
Has it saved me more times than not? Absolutely.
Turns out, not panicking amid scarcity is a strategy with a solid track record.
Now let’s check the marketplace messages and see what the van’s fan club can teach you about your rules.
Nick Says, “What’s Your Bottom Price on This?”
That was Nick’s first and only message. No questions about the van. Does it have a hitch? A backup camera? Cargo area dimensions?
Nick went straight to the price, which is one way to make a first impression.
Sound familiar?
Have you ever gotten a pricing question before you’ve exchanged a single word about what you’d actually do for someone?
For me, that’s a red flag. It says a lot about how someone sees your value.
Nick clearly read the ad. But usually price negotiation comes after someone’s test-driven it, popped the hood, made a face implying expertise, and mentioned they left the house with the full asking price in cash but are just a little short for some reason.
Nick skipped all that. It felt a bit like going on a first date and being asked to pick a wedding venue before the meal arrived.
I was tempted to reply, “That depends on what your top price is,” but decided against the sporting banter.
When price is the first concern for a potential client, I know their perspective is expense, not investment. I want to be seen as an investment in my client’s success, not an adversarial line item they’re trying to minimize before the conversation’s even started.
That’s not the working relationship I’m looking for. And it’s not the one my ideal client is looking for either.
The rule: Price-first inquiries are a red flag. Unless a valid context shows up to explain it, we’re probably not a fit.
John Says, “Might Be Too Small for What I Want. It’s Really a Nice Van!”
Perfectly polite. Completely honest. Zero drama.
I replied: “Ah, okay, bummer. They don’t make these toughies anymore. Best of luck finding one.”
Another rule of engagement: I’m never offended when someone says, “This just isn’t for me.”
Every business owner has the right to run things as they see fit. What I do, or who I am, isn’t going to fit everyone. The world has a lot of vans.
There’s no reason to feel offended, take it personally, or spend the rest of the afternoon wondering what John really meant.
Ideal clients also mean serving as an ideal provider for them. That’s a business relationship, not a personality contest.
The rule: If I’m not the right fit, I’ll refer them somewhere that might be a better fit. If I can’t, I’ll wish them well with a smile on both our faces. Easy transaction. No grudges. Done.
Adam says, “Would I Be Able to Come Get the Vehicle and Bring It back…”
Boy, that’s creative.
Here’s what Adam said in full.
“Hi Brad, if it checks out, we would like to buy it, but I would want to have our technician inspect it. May I pick up the vehicle, bring it back here for inspection, and, if everything looks good, bring you a check? If not, I’ll return the vehicle to you.”
Adam claimed to be a general manager of a dealership.
But really. A Facebook Marketplace ad, a platform that warns you about scams right there in the sidebar, a listing that explicitly says “No digital payments” and “Beware of certain buyers.” And this person wants to swing by, grab my keys, and come back with either my van or a check. Whichever he felt like.
Right? How about my social security card to scrape those bugs off the windshield, too?
My ad also specifically said “No dealers.” So Adam and I weren’t exactly off to a solid start.
Fast forward a day later, and something else happened.
I sold my van to Adam.
Well, not exactly. Adam was out. Aaron was the actual general manager of the dealership. Aaron didn’t lowball the price as I’d assumed. They were, by all accounts, quite nice.
The kind of nice that makes you feel slightly bad for having mentally cast them in your own personal scammer storyline.
Aaron cut me a check for just under the full asking price, more than I’d planned to get from a private party, and gave us a 45-minute ride home from the dealership. Which, honestly, was a better outcome than anything I’d scripted.
Aaron admitted he’d been standing right next to Adam when he sent out that “let me take your van” message. He thought the same thing I did, “That was weird.”
We had a good laugh about it while my check was printing.
So what’s the rule here?
Had I let my assumptions run away with me, I’d have sold to a private buyer for a lot less. Instead, I checked the dealership, verified the contact, and validated the claim.
The rule: Be cautious. But assumptions can be costly. Sometimes the rules of engagement aren’t about protecting you from the outside world. Sometimes they’re the ones that protect you from yourself.
Now Build Your Own
You’re in charge of creating your own rules. Nobody can hand you a universal list that fits your business.
What you can do is look honestly at what makes your practice run well, what the roadblocks are, what’s a good use of your time, and what’s quietly eating it.
What past experiences went well? What pitfalls have you stumbled into more than once?
Start assembling your own Rules of Engagement. Write them down or keep them in memory. It doesn’t matter where they live as long as they’re settled.
Do you have a rule about clients who show up late for appointments? What are your payment terms, and what happens when someone pushes back on them?
Do you have a rule for yourself, like sending every new client a handwritten thank-you and a coffee shop gift card?
That last one matters more than people admit.
When you establish your rules, you gain direction, confidence, and a quiet security in how you operate. When a potential client asks for an exception to your payment structure, you don’t have to wring your hands over it. You can simply say, “I’m sorry, that’s just our policy.”
Build rules on both sides of the client relationship. Those that protect you and your business, and those that reward clients and make them feel genuinely welcome.
Consider a rule: within the first three months with a new client, send something personal. An article, a set of golf tees, a book on losing weight…
Hold up, maybe not that.
But something they’d appreciate. Something that says you were paying attention.
It costs almost nothing and lands like a million bucks.
Set some time aside this week to work through your own list. Your future self, the one not staring at the ceiling at 2 a.m., will appreciate it.